cries of a wandering mind...

tonight was pretty good i must say, chatted with an old friend and hung out with j dogg.. hehe
js foots prolly killing her as i sit in the kitchen drinkn waterr and playin round on my myspace. but i hope shes asleep that way she'll b relieved of her pain.

sitting here is rather relaxing as i wright this blog in darkness and listen to a train roaming by,
it kinda makes you think about all the shit that comes and goes in your life. i need to start learning to be a little less insecure about the things in my life and learn to embrase all the good i have instead of hidding away from them like a child.

im just thankful for what i have now in my life and im tryn to stop worrin bout what i use to have and what i wish i would once again be able to have. life does indeed go on and each step in lifes just another learning experience that you can take lessons from. embrase the lessons because if you dnt all your doing is gettn in a rutt, and not only is it unhealthy but its selfish to the people around you that care for you and just wnt the best to come outa whatever shitty thing thats happening in ur life.

outta all the rediculous, horrible shitty thing thats happend thus far in this life of mine the one thing thats impacted me the most was the death of my father. but ive taught myself to think of this tragety as a bettering for him. he wasnt a lazy man but he kept going even though his body was teling him to back off a lil because he knew he had to keep strong and make a living for all his children, because thats all he had ever strived to do was keep his family happy and well.

even though he left us so early he still provides for at least me, i know hes still with me and i can feel his preasence close to my heart every damn day. not a day, let alone a secong goes by that hes not on my mind or my prayrs. i love my dad and he'll always be here with me not in body but in spirit and i have to face that fact and learn from it all

treasure what you have in life now because it can all be gone in a blink of an eye.
i love u dad 2-07-1963_9-26-08
thank you jocelyn and whitney for bein here for me...i know i can confide in you.. Always

why hello there

hah i havent been on here in quite sometime, but im back and ready to talk.
lol alot has happened since my last post

ok, well latley nothing much has been going on in my so called life. lol im such a loser (:
no but really latley ive just been hangn out with my two good pals whitney and jocelyn.

hahah ok me and whit decided it was ok to stay up all damn night hah and man were we wrong we felt soo sick hahah but all in all great night we played on our myspaces and played dbz hahaha i kicked some major ass!!! and f*ck you kidd buu your ass is mine next time im over!!!!!!

hahah as of this moment tho im at J's wrighting this junk that we call a blog playing on uve guessed it myspace. but im soo verrrrrry excitedd!!!!!! i have come in contact with an old friend i havnt talked to in over 4years!!!! kellie lol she was mii bfff in 7th grade wen i lived in woodland!!! this is very crazie shitttttttt!!!!!!!!! wahahahahah

im quite hyperr now tho hahahahah im shaking with hypernessness?! wtf XD hahaha
my lifes on a standstill as of now tho nothing of great interest has presented myself jus dealing with drama frm mii ex"s but theyll get over it and somehow move on with there poor pathetic thing they call lives heheh im mean but owell serves them right hahah

im lost and dnno what to talk bout so .....ok thanx bye :)

"I've , Lost it all, fell today, It’s all the same"

"I loved you, you made me, hate me. You gave me, hate, see?. It saved me and these tears are deadly.You feel that? I rip back, every time you tried to steal that. You feel bad? you feel sad? I’m sorry,hell no fuck that! It was my heart, it was my life, it was my start, it was your knife. This strife it dies, this life and these lies. And these lungs have sung this song for too long, and its true Ihurt too, remember I loved you!"

this is a shitty day that has started off bad...woke up with a pounding headache ....then a so called friend decided that im DRAM? wtf?! and now we arnt friends.....

i cnt take this.....i dnt kno what your expecting outta me.... i cant deal with loosing a friend... ive lost enough this year... GOD i cant take this! y should i be the only one suffering frm this loss?

whitney, the only drama ive caused is because of your shit! trying to help you makes me be drama? wow .....seriously stop tryn to kiss their ass when right in frnt of you.... you have people that are actually there and care about you

i love you .....please stop this foolisness.......i care about you....and i dnt wnt to loose you... your one of my first real friends i've ever had......

holding emotions in is apperently what i do best...but for some reason this is really getting to me...gahh i cnt deal with tis right now...


"i don't give a f**k if your drunk or not" .....Peace Bitches!!

"every start's got it's ending even when we've learned to rise above it all"

god, im so sick of kno itall stuck up bitches! seriously ppl, you dnt even have a fucking clue at all bout what is going on! the only fucking thing you have is trying to controll every last detail because you kno what i should do! well fuck that!

seriously live my life for at least an hour and then youll see you were dead wrong about all your accusations! i know more shit than youll ever kno. i kno about shit that even i regret hearing about!

get ALL the facts first before you call me ungreatful! i constantly thank j for everything she does for me and just because i was mad doesnt give you any right at all to make me out to be the bad guy! because ha maybe you should sit and take a good look in the mirror and then you'll se how selfish and obsessive YOU are! and how bad your hurting the people who actually do give a fuck about you! for once take into concideration about your real friends feelings and stop worrying about a fantasy thats NEVER gnna happen for you!

i love you and all whitney but seriously your hurtin us.....and how you talked to me earlier was bullshit... you didnt kno all the facts about the situation your self....so dnt give me a hard time about it... in a little upset still.....and im not gnna appologize for the way i was acting because i did have a reason to be upset and she agrees with me....

im still ur friend and maybe you should start listening to our adviuce more....idk...


"i don't give a f**k if your drunk or not" .....Peace Bitches!!

"God of time, am I lost in your eyes?"

haha so ok lol im still here with jocelyn lol and were sitting here playing on subeta pre usual lol

then all the sudden j said sumthn about her mom having a beaver?! hahah rotflmao! seriously lol what the fuck ....
suposibley (w-e on the spelling...if u dnt like it then fukk off :)) hahah so for the past half an hour weve been sitting here laughing like mental patients lol


then we got on the aim account and asked her mom what the word beaver meant to her lol she prolly thinks were on crack or sumthing haha

me and jocelyn always manage to have hella funn when i come over to visit and we aint going to bed again tonight so fuck that shit in the ass!!

"i don't give a f**k if your drunk or not" .....Peace Bitches!!

"Everywhere I Go Bitches Always Know"

ok haha im back once again, haha todays been kinda a blur...... like what the hell have i even done today?! im am one motha fuckn lazy bitch......

take a guess at what i did? ........Subeta ... i kno i should be ashamed of myself but i just cannot help myself when it comes down to that god forsaken website...it has some weird hold on me... idk

Jocelyns house again tonight lol we just got done playin Rock Band lol she got her ASS handed 2 her i am the champ... woot wooot! i do enjopy a good challeng ... metallica is good on that game its very sly with its green red yellow blue combinations...oh u thought you had me but ohh no not this time u caniving sneeky bastard!!!!

lol i am quite blah today dont kno wat to do.......so i am occupying my time with bloging and am A&W root beer... indeed rootbeer is very goooood indeed.......

im done with this randome segment of my lifes work...


"i don't give a f**k if your drunk or not" .....Peace Bitches!!

"there's no other place that I'd rather be"

omg! as i sti here this very moment i take all wat i said back about you my dear Subeta!!!

subeta waz down for quite a while tonight....but ...ohh yes it.... it is baaaaaaaack!!!


oh dear sweet subeta
how i have missed thee...
you left us but now your back
do not leave again
for i have missed you so..
oh my dearest subeta!
i have longed to check my account
thank you my dearest subeta
thank you for returning again!
-Amanda 12/27/2008 6:21am

"i don't give a f**k if your drunk or not" .....Peace Bitches!!